DISQUS

wordslinger · 4 months ago

".....and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

MrJM · 4 months ago

"And reason 43 is..."

47th Ward · 4 months ago

Sorry fellas, I'd love to have a beer with you, but I've got a big day planned tomorrow, a pretty nice little Saturday. We're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

Paul · 4 months ago

Listen, I told you guys yesterday we were going to wear the orange shirts to the fair. Beige? Okay so maybe you don't have an orange shirt, but chartreuse? No way, not when I'm governor.

Forgotten Few · 4 months ago

"Ok. Let me see if I have this right. This little piggy goes to market, This little piggy stays home..."

Anon · 4 months ago

Da Hynes points out the difference in calorie count between regular beer and light beer to a fairgoer who obviously needs to hear it.

Speaking at Will · 4 months ago

As Dan Hynes explains for the 287th time what a "Comptroller" is.

VanillaMan · 4 months ago

"Yeah - I felt it - the sky fell and it struck me right here - so when I send out press releases about chaos, bankrupsy and the end of the world, it isn't just to promote myself!"

humm · 4 months ago

Hynes: Guys, I know it is going to be a tough primary but I believe you should vote for me. I have five points. #1, I was the first person to stand up to Rod Blagojevich. #2, I am smart and I am a hard worker. #3, I lost to Barack Obama, and that gives me credibility. Guys, I was blown out of the water by Barack Obama. The numbers were bad. Really bad. #4, I read books. Lots of books. #5, I have the best personality. I have a good sense of humor. I am charming. I can command a room.

Man 1: I'm sorry, sir, I think I fell asleep after point 1.

PFK · 4 months ago

You don't like layoffs? Oh, sure. No problem. Let me just make a note of that on my imaginary Blackberry...

Silas · 4 months ago

"Ok guys... paper, rocks, scissors to see who gets the golf cart"

dupage progressive · 4 months ago

how did I miss the burr oaks thing?
well, first I lost the primary for US senate... that burned me... then we had a couple kids, then it's REALLY hard being a comptroller - hardest part is explaining to everyone what it is...

Small Town Liberal · 4 months ago

This is exactly how Pat Quinn types secret emails on his Blackberry, you guys don't get to see them just like you can't see this one.

Anon · 4 months ago

As my friend on my right and I have learned, one way to demonstrate fiscal responsibility is to buy the loud shirts no one else wants on the clearance rack at TJ Maxx.

Don't Worry, Be Happy · 4 months ago

So first, you put all of the money in one room. Then you divide it into piles. All of the pennies in one, the nickels in another. You get the idea. Then you count the number of coins and bills in each pile. And here's where the hard part comes in - you have to remember to multiply the number in each pile times the value. It's really important, because 1 million pennies is only worth $10,000, while 1 million quarters is worth $250,000, so they're not the same.

Niles Township · 4 months ago

See...just put the cash right here & no one will notice because they will be distracted by our neon shirts.

Levois · 4 months ago

You are hearing me talk.

Anon · 4 months ago

"So, Rahm's working at Arby's one summer in high school. And he's slicing beef but he's not really paying attention. And next thing you know, bam, there goes his middle finger."

just some guy · 4 months ago

debriefing just minutes after climbing off each other's shoulders in the final practice of dan's human traffic light act for Illinois' Got Talent

We're in the Money · 4 months ago

DH: "...sure it's easy to track revenue. Why right on this little scrap of paper I have all the General Revenue cash receipts for fiscal years 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005..."

Oswego Willy · 4 months ago

Hynes, "Let's see, I have the Green Power Ranger, the Blue Power Ranger, I got the White Power Ranger from my Dad after winning re-election, so you can say I just about have them all."

What planet is he from? · 4 months ago

Now you go down to the corn dog vendor and cut out, I'll fake it to you. And you go long.

Obamarama · 4 months ago

Fellas, let's talk about 2010. On the one hand, you have Governor* Quinn, on the other hand... ok seriously, does it really matter what the other option is?

Yawn · 4 months ago

And I said " Blair Hull How dare you Impugn My Integrity"! Then I did a Commercial with My Wife. I can't figure how He beat me.

Oswego Willy · 4 months ago

Hynes,"Well, what I had said was I'm in the math club, uh, the Latin, and the physics club... physics club. Well, in physics we... we talk about physics, properties of physics."

13 · 4 months ago

So, it was either mayor of Whoville, I thought I had the looks to pull it off, or Governor of Illinois. I'll now list each reason I chose Governor, with all the flair of a burned out accountant.

zatoichi · 4 months ago

After a couple a beers, the guys find that the right hand does fall pretty fast while demonstrating the famous nose to finger test.

You Go Boy · 4 months ago

"See? This is what I mean when I say you gotta get your hands dirty to win in politics..."

Waxum · 4 months ago

Sorry, Don, NO JOBS FOR COUNTY CHAIRMEN! Especially Vermilion County!

publius · 4 months ago

thisis how many times quinn has flip flopped.....

Corey · 4 months ago

How many times have I asked for the Speaker's support? Well, let's see....

Afternoon Anon · 4 months ago

And then the fortune teller says to me "See this line? This is your political life line."

Professor of Finance · 4 months ago

So now we know why the State's FY2008 Annual Financial Report (CAFR) was published six months late (July 10, 2009 to be exact*). . . Danny-boy ran out of fingers!

* http://www.ioc.state.il.us/Library/cr.cfm

Fed Up · 4 months ago

So far, Fat Tony & Johnny Sac are in. Tony Soprano wants a bigger cut.

Anonymous · 4 months ago

See? And now the quarter is gone! But if I reach behind your ear...

Heartless Libertarian · 4 months ago

"I tell you what I see when I look out there. I see the undeveloped resources of Minnesota, Northern Wisconsin, and Michigan. I see a syndicated development consortium exploiting over a billion and a half dollars in forest products. I see a paper mill and if the strategic metals are there, a mining operation. A greenbelt between the condos on the lake and a waste management facility focusing on the newest rage in toxic waste, medical refuse. Infected bandages, body parts, IV tubing, contaminated glassware, entrails, syringes, fluids, blood, low grade radioactive waste all safely contained sunken in the lake and sealed for centuries. Now I ask you what do you see?"

Boone Logan Square · 4 months ago

Want fries with that?

cover · 4 months ago

Oswego Willy @1:35pm, you could have gone one better on his "nerdy" image (with apologies to Weird Al): "I was in AV club and glee club and even the chess team! Only question I ever thought was hard was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"

Face Time · 4 months ago

DH: Let me count the ways I'm already boring myself.

Just sayin · 4 months ago

"How do I love me for Governor - let me count the ways."

anon · 4 months ago

DAN HYNES: "Rich Miller won't give me the proper amount of respect, so I need you guys to help me. First, log on to your computer. Second, go to Google or type in the browser www.thecapitolfaxblog.com. Third, post comments that I am the best candidate for Governor. I need your help guys."

COUNTY CHAIR: "Sure, first can you tell me who you are?"

VanillaMan · 4 months ago

"I ate a corn dog. It was a pretty good corn dog, at that too! It reminded me of the times when I first came to Springfield and attended the State Fair with my father. We had corn dogs. Gotta have mustard! Am I right guys? Good old yellow mustard, like French's, but then I'm trying to endorse French's mustard - no siree, I'm not that kind of guy."

"What I am is the kind of guy you can depend upon to know the differences between endorsing a mustard, and telling you a story about corn dogs, which I have eaten, and continue to eat during Illinois State Fairs."

"Do I eat corn dogs at the DuQuoin State Fair? You betcha! And I don't have to tell ya, I - yup, put mustard on those DuQuoin State Fair corn dogs too! The French's kind. That smooth yellowy, tangy, and crucial part of the condiment table, every corn dog needs."

"So you see, we're talking condiments."

Norseman · 4 months ago

Here's how we keep track of government funds - one million, two million, three million, four million ... 10 million; wait, I need to take my socks off...

Oswego Willy · 4 months ago

Cover ... I am not as creative as you ...I just went Breakfast Club

mb · 4 months ago

ok, let's go over this again: scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock and rock crushes scissors. got it? let's go...1, 2,3...

Vote Quimby! · 4 months ago

First he says he wants a special election, then doesn't...then he wants a tax hike, then he doesn't...then he wants the U of I trustees to resign, then only the white ones...

-OR-

continuing the Caddyshack theme...
Hey Moose, Rocko...help the judges find their checkbooks!

CountryLife · 4 months ago

Gentlemen, behold! Before you is the very hand that's going to smack the crap out of Quinn if he doesn't get around to getting rid of the Blago appointees. So, for a generous contribution to my campaign fund, you can shake this hand afterwards.