DISQUS

Anonymous · 1 year ago

"Today was an up day" - I don't have any ties left to reality

"I'm on the side of the Lord" - And I'm hoping he's in the jury pool

dan l · 1 year ago

"Hold your nose and enjoy a free bus ride"

"Please don't say that. Please, Please please!! This is my one pipe dream that I've been able to force down Illinois' gullet, and I'd like to enjoy the moment"

pickles!! · 1 year ago

My favorite quote is the "its a win-win situation" saying.- Its good for me, the politician/official, and my voters, at least in theory.

Mayor Daley says it a lot.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

“I didn’t (give in). I vetoed it. I rewrote the bill,”

There is absolutely nothing that I can't say with a straight face, no matter how untrue it is

wordslinger · 1 year ago

"Mr. Speaker, I move the previous question."

Translated: "Can't you make these morons shut up?"

MOON · 1 year ago

Blago: "I vetoed the tax hike"

Clinton "I did not have sex with that woman"(Monica)

Levois · 1 year ago

It's too bad I don't know enough about Springfield.

GoBearsss · 1 year ago

"You need to work with the legislators"
- Where's my pork!?

GoBearsss · 1 year ago

"Someone needs to step up and show some leadership"
- Don't look at me, I just work here

GoBearsss · 1 year ago

"The Regular Session of the 95th General Assembly is adjourned until tomorrow, 10 AM"
- Meet at Boone's in 10 minutes

"The Regular Session of the 95th General Assembly is adjourned until tomorrow, 2 PM"
- I'm buying

Rich Miller · 1 year ago

"Let me finish these other questions, Ray, and I'll get back to your subpoena question."
- I'm gonna make a dash for it in five, four, three....

GoBearsss · 1 year ago

"WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
- Please sit down with me for an intelligent conversation about your policies and how you plan to move this state forward. Our readers in Rockford are very interest, thank you."

If It Walks Like a Duck... · 1 year ago

"With all due respect..."
- "I don't believe a word you just said."

"What was she thinking?"
-"What was I thinking."

Any reference to sexism or Neanderthal mentality while defending your wife -
Guilty

Rich Miller · 1 year ago

"The governor is not Public Official A."
- I hope nobody notices that George Ryan's press secretary said the same thing.

A Citizen · 1 year ago

The guv is unavailable for comment.
The guv is home watching Hannah Montana episodes on a complete dvd collection. He may reappear in the spring.

wordslinger · 1 year ago

"No such conversation took place."

Trans: "I hope he wasn't wearing a wire."

-------

GoBearsss · 1 year ago

"My dog misses me!"
- please, for the love of god let me go home!
(in honor of Bill Black)

wordslinger · 1 year ago

"We are cooperating fully with the U.S. Attorney. Because it's an ongoing conversation, we will have to other comment."

Trans: 'Everybody keep their mouths shut."

The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers P · 1 year ago

"I'm doing the People's business."

As in friends and family.

Dan S, a Voter · 1 year ago

"I'm helping people" = I'll do it the way I want I don't care what the Constitution or the statutes say.

Marty S says · 1 year ago

"Where is the love?"
-- "What's in it for me?"

GOP · 1 year ago

'Keep your powder dry'
That was Pate's comment whenever he had not yet decided what angle to take and wanted members to shut up until he did decide.

speakkk · 1 year ago

"Representative, I'd be happy to work with you on that issue in the future."
Shut up already so we can vote on my bill.

"Mr. Speaker, Inquiry of the chair"
I'm about to screw with you.

Jaded · 1 year ago

"This bill having received the required constituional majority is declared passed".

Illinois' citizens just got screwed again.

Bluefish · 1 year ago

"I've got testicular virility"
- Instead of brains

If It Walks Like a Duck... · 1 year ago

"Free bus rides for all seniors!"
"What's this "no free lunch thing" everyone keeps talking about?"

Rich Miller · 1 year ago

"The Speaker will have a press conference in ten minutes."
- Dorothy, wake up!

Jake from Elwood · 1 year ago

"Family is very important to me"
Unless you are talking about my father-in-law.

"He is a man of the people"
He will pander to whomever is listening to ensure that he is reelected.

"Illinois should do its part to reduce global warming"
Fuel up the state plane so we can spread this message from Chicago to Cairo.

Six Degrees of Separation · 1 year ago

"All in all, it was a good day"

Translation: Your favored legislation won the coveted "100 votes against" award in the IL House.
There's a name for the award but it escapes me now.

Reading on Walden · 1 year ago

I am retiring to spend more time with my family.

If I quit now, maybe they'll stop investigating.

Rich Miller · 1 year ago

===There’s a name for the award but it escapes me now.===

Century Club.

Just Sayin' · 1 year ago

"Have all voted who wish?"
Time to start voting

"I rise on a point of personal privilege"
Hurry, get the cameras. This will be a great photo op with my constituents

"Mr. Speaker, I'd like to put this bill on the order of postponed consideration."
What the ---?

Rich Miller · 1 year ago

"The gentleman from Cook, Mr. Lang is recognized."
- It must be about time for the Chicago TV live shots.

S. Illinois · 1 year ago

"I'm working hard for the people."

The "people" who give me campaign donations, the "people" who write my daughters very generous birthday checks, the "people" who pay my wife healthy real estate commissions....

Just My Opinion · 1 year ago

During a fly-around that also included a stop in Decatur, the governor said senior citizens in Illinois may “pre-register” for free transit service by calling (800) 252-8966 or going online to www.illinois.gov/transit.

Great, another chance to get people to go to my website and see all the B.S. I've put on about the good things I've done for this state.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Rod: "I'm here to serve the people"

Means: "Where the hell is my hairbrush!!"

Just Sayin' · 1 year ago

"This will be on the order of short debate."
Do we really have to talk about this again?

"I would like to request a verification."
Take a walk or pay in the election

Lobby101 · 1 year ago

"Let me take a look at it."

Translation - I don't care about your issue right now the Rathskellar just popped some fresh popcorn.

"I'm with ya!"

Translation - I'm with you right now - but that is subject to change when it gets to committee or on the floor.

"Who are the opponents?"

Translation - Let me check my D-2's to determine who is going to get my support.

Keef · 1 year ago

"That was the OLD way of doing business"=
"I switched the illegal campaign contributions to Quickbooks"

"I remember my honest, hard-working, middle-class parents"-
(I never wanted to be like them).

"...because its the right thing to do"-
="This polled well".

"It's the LAW, L-.A.-W."
="At least, that's what my borrowed crib notes from Pepperdine said, I was out surfing with Lon"

"Ethically, we're clean as a hound's tooth"
-I bought a brand new shredder last week.

Rich Miller · 1 year ago

"Copyrighted Material, Do Not Forward"
- I know you're gonna forward it, but please try to keep the copyright violations to a bare minimum, please.

GoBearsss · 1 year ago

Rich - I have to admit, I have seen the following e-mail subject line on at least two occasions:

"FW: FW: FW: COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL DO NOT FORWARD"

Only when someone wanted to send something of particular interest to me. And then I came to your blog, felt guilty, and clicked on the ads.

:)

QC Transplant · 1 year ago

"We can do this the hard way or we can do this the easy way"

You Republicans, please sit down and be quiet. You don't have the votes and I have the gavel.

Poli-Sci Geek · 1 year ago

"the hour of 10 having arrived the Senate will come to order" -- This really means it is some time well after 10 am.

Jaded · 1 year ago

"Speaker Madigan in the Chair"
Pay attention something good (interesting) is about to happen.

"Nice Tie"
(sorry, can't translate this due to the no profanity rule)

"Senate Bills X,Y, and Z are being assigned to subcommittee"
Seante Bill X,Y, and Z are dead as a door nail.

Jaded · 1 year ago

"I have something I need to discuss with you off campus"

I have an upcoming fundraiser.

GoBearsss · 1 year ago

"The Rules Committee will convene immediately in the antechamber"

- Shots!

capitol view · 1 year ago

Education is my top priority -

unless I have to rasie taxes to pay for it.

The Speaker says · 1 year ago

"The Democrats will caucus in five minutes."
-- Time for me to let you all know who will vote for and who I will excuse from voting for a controversial bill.

Stella the Snark · 1 year ago

"we would be happy to provide you our methodology for that fiscal analysis"
"yeah, extrapolate this, ya putz"

BehindTheScenes · 1 year ago

"Yes"
No

"No"
Maybe, what's in it for me.

"Never"
(See above)

Napoleon has left the building · 1 year ago

“I’m going to put an end to business as usual in Springfield!”
Except for some “very serious allegations of endemic hiring fraud”

"You want to meet over lunch?"
Nothing happening here today, let's go to the Sangamo for a couple hours.

Another Pro-gunner · 1 year ago

"This is a common-sense proposal"
-Look, I've convinced the general public this is a good idea, so don't bother talking about the details, or people might actually realize how truly invasive this legislation is, how it punishes people it shouldn't, and that it won't accomplish anything I claim it will. (Generally refers to anti-gun legislation, but also applied to other issues with alarming regularity.)

Hickory · 1 year ago

You must pay to play - When and how large was your last contribution.

fee man · 1 year ago

"the worst thing you can do....is add more burdens to people and raise more taxes on people"

really means....

"I'm going to increase every business fee, user fee, license fee, sales tax, and any other fee that I can think of. And people will not notice any burdon"

Michelle Flaherty · 1 year ago

"Inquiry of the parliamentarian"
-- At least explain to me how you're going to screw me over?

“Have all voted that wish, have all voted that wish”
-- Wake up! We’re voting

“Move to override the chair”
-- I’m powerless to do anything so I’m going to throw a fit and waste some time

“Senate Republicans request an immediate caucus”
-- There’s finally a phone booth open

“I’ll have to look into that and get back to you”
-- You’ll never hear from the governor’s press office again

“That’s just Democrats being Democrats”
-- I hate Rod Blagojevich and curse his existence

“The gentlemen from Madison, Representative Hoffman, for what reason do you rise?”
-- Would Rep. Bradford have really been that bad?

“Roll call for attendance”
-- Push the green button or you don’t get your meal money

“My name was used in debate …”
-- And I like hearing it so much I’m going to get up and talk some more

jwscott72 · 1 year ago

"...To the bill."
-Forget all that crap I just said.

"The Chair recognizes the gentleman from Vermillion."
-Sit down because this will get interesting.

"Where's the fiscal note on this bill?"
-Tell me how much you're raising our taxes this time.

"Voting is now open."
-It really isn't "open", we decided this in caucus.

"I thank my colleague on the other side for his/her hard work."
-He/she is a schmuck but you don't say schmuck on the floor.

L.S. · 1 year ago

"I used my veto to improve the bill" =

I waited until the last possible minute to make unneccessary changes in the hopes that my unconstitutional action will throw the process into dissary and I can once agin blame the legislature. Ahhh, the smell of victory.

Cal Skinner · 1 year ago

"Pony girl"

A young lady who keeps her job with her tail.

Compliments of the musical "Boss" by Mike Royko.

I'm told they were sweet young things hired by Illinois Bell to entertain legislators.

Arthur Andersen · 1 year ago

"The governor has not been accused of any wrongdoing."

-Not yet, he hasn't.

Annonymous · 1 year ago

Hi there!

To a voter: Vote for me!
To a fellow legislator: Vote with me!
To the press: Be kind, please.

Right On Bill · 1 year ago

"Mr. President the Republicans request a caucus." (Righter needs to haul the gang in a room and explain again that they have no power).

Quizzical · 1 year ago

Our friends want this bill.
--The people at the mobbed-up operation that gave me $75,000 during the last cycle are insisting that this bill pass, and if it doesn't, somebody is going to wind up like Jimmy Hoffa.

Excuse me, will the kind gentleman tell me what part of the bill he is referring to?
--I don't remember what happened after I closed the Alamo last night.

The speaker would like...
--You had better...

Arthur Andersen · 1 year ago

Here's a "back in the day" classic:

"we're on break"

-how many tickets are you gonna buy/sell/eat?

Disgusted · 1 year ago

"I'm just a retired businessman, living on a pension."

Translation: Pssst! Here's hoping the Pope can remember his line.

(With apologies to "The Godfather.")

Just Sayin' · 1 year ago

"The governor has not been accused of any wrongdoing"
Unless you count this article

Thinking without the box · 1 year ago

It's not business as usual!
Trans: When I get done they won't even recognize business as usual.

St. Nick · 1 year ago

"Send it to Taylorville"

Send your contribution the chairman of the Dem county chairs and it will get to your candidate without looking like you sent it.